Wedding Traditions, Chinese edition

(Photo cr. Bride and Breakfast HK)

While we are a Swedish wedding planning company based in Stockholm, most of our clients come from diverse backgrounds and heritages. Many of the weddings we plan include international guests traveling here to celebrate with our couples. What I love most is blending Swedish wedding traditions with those from other cultures, creating new rituals and unforgettable memories on the wedding day.

Recently, we have had several couples with Asian backgrounds. This weekend, we have a bride with Chinese parents who grew up in Sweden, and a groom with American and Italian heritage. The wedding will take place in a stunning venue in the Stockholm archipelago. I am thrilled about this! Additionally, having two wonderful interns from Hong Kong has piqued my curiosity about Chinese traditions, so I decided to do some research and share my findings with you....

Chinese weddings are rich in traditions and rituals passed down through generations. These customs blend cultural symbolism with familial values, creating a significant festive celebration. The most important seven steps include "Choosing an auspicious date" (擇日), "Betrothal ceremony"(過大禮), "Setting the bridal bed"(安床), "Hair combing ritual"(上頭), "Departure from home"(出閣), "Tea ceremony"(敬茶), and "Three-day return"(三朝回門).

Steps in Chinese Marriage

1. Choosing an Auspicious Date (Ze Ri )

"Choosing an auspicious date" is the first important step in a traditional Chinese wedding. The traditional belief is that the choice of date can affect the future of the marriage.

Couples can start by consulting the Chinese imperial calendar (also known as the "Tong Sheng") for days marked as favourable for weddings. Then, they consider the birth dates and zodiac signs of both the bride and groom, as well as their parents, to ensure that the chosen date is perfect. The most straightforward method is for the couple to consult a feng shui master or fortune-teller to determine the most suitable date for their wedding.

(Photo cr. Internet)

2. Betrothal Ceremony (Guo Da Li )

"Betrothal Ceremony" signifies the betrothal, which is the second step in Chinese weddings. It is held on an auspicious date and time, ideally two months to two weeks before the wedding.

During the ceremony, the groom's family formally proposes to the bride's family, presenting betrothal gifts (mostly jewellery and gold) and money to demonstrate the groom's commitment to cherish the bride and to express gratitude to the bride's parents for raising her. The bride's family accepts the betrothal gifts to indicate their acceptance of the proposal, then return half of the gifts, known as "Hui Li", symbolizing their wish to maintain good relations with the groom's family.

The couple can start sending out wedding invitations after this ceremony.

(Photo cr. Pinterest @JuMi Story)

3. Setting the Bridal Bed ( An Chuang )

"Setting the bridal bed" is usually performed a few days before the wedding at an auspicious date and time. This step requires a “good fortune man” and a “good fortune woman” who are considered to have complete good fortune, embodying "blessing, prosperity, wealth, offspring, and longevity". They are happily married, with both spouses alive, and have children, living in a three-generation household.

The "good fortune man" first moves the new bed into the bridal chamber, which can be at either the bride's or groom's home if the new house is not yet available. The "good fortune woman" makes the bed with brand new red bedding and places red and gold papers, along with various auspicious fruits such as dried lychee, red dates, lotus seeds, and lilies on it. Two red packets containing amounts with the number "nine" are placed on the pillows. After setting the bed, no one is allowed to enter the bridal chamber or sit or lie on the bed until the wedding night.

(Photo cr. Internet @Temu)

(Photo cr. Pinterest @Full-Silver)

4. Hair Combing Ritual ( Shang Tou )

The "Hair Combing Ritual" is the fourth step that marks an important transition and bestows blessings on the couple as they prepare to enter married life.

On the night before the wedding, the bride and groom each undergo this ritual at their respective homes, performed by a "good fortune man" and "good fortune woman."

Firstly, the couple bathes with pomelo leaves and dresses in new pajamas and underwear. Dragon and phoenix candles are lit to symbolize harmony. Secondly, the "good fortune man" or "good fortune woman" combs and styles the couple's hair while reciting hair-combing blessings. Cypress leaves and red strings are tied to the couple's hair, signifying longevity and good fortune. Last but not least, the couple eats glutinous rice balls (tangyuan) to represent a happy and harmonious marriage.

5. Departure from Home (Chu Ge )

"Departure from home" signifies a bride's departure from her family home, a significant rite of passage in Chinese weddings. Traditionally, the bride leaves her family permanently to live with her husband. After the groom completes the gatecrash activities and reunites with the bride, they are served a bowl of noodles with hard-boiled eggs by the bride’s family, denoting longevity.

Before leaving, the couple bows three times: to the heavens and earth, to their parents, and to each other, showing respect and gratitude. The bride is then sheltered by a red umbrella, often held by her father or a male elder, to repel negative elements. As she heads to the bridal car, red beans or rice may be thrown along the way for good luck.

Finally, the bride throws a red foldable fan out of the car window, symbolizing the shedding of her past and any negativity as a new chapter begins. This fan can later be picked up by any family member.

(Photo cr. Internet @Cafe Codiac)

6. Tea Ceremony ( Jing Cha )

The Chinese Tea Ceremony is one of the most significant traditions in Chinese weddings. Typically held on the wedding day, the couple kneels before their parents, with the groom on the left and the bride on the right. The groom serves tea to his father first, followed by the bride, and then repeats the process for the mother. The couple also serves tea to other elders in the family according to seniority. After drinking the tea, elders typically give the couple red envelopes or gold jewelry as a blessing. This ceremony shows respect to their elders and allows the couple to receive blessings for their marriage.

7. Three-Day Return ( San Chao Hui Men)

Traditionally, the bride will return to her family home for a visit three days after the wedding, a practice known as the "Three-day return." However, this tradition has been modernized over the years, and it is now common for the bride and her groom to return to her home on the same day of the wedding, right after she has completed the preceding rituals.

To signify the passing of three days, the bride usually changes into a Qun Kua or other brand-new clothes before she returns home. After the god ceremony, the tea ceremony for her family members will commence once they get home. Traditionally, this tea ceremony represents the formal introduction of the groom to the bride’s family.

After the tea ceremony is completed, the roast pig gifted by the groom will be divided into three sections: the head, middle, and tail. The bride’s family will keep the middle portion, while the head and tail will be wrapped in red paper or cloth and returned to the groom’s family, symbolizing a perfect union.

(Photo cr. Pinterest @Flickr)

The significance of colours, especially red for happiness and prosperity, and the ceremonies, which honour familial bonds and respect, underscore the deep-rooted values of Chinese culture. The traditions highlight the blend of old and new that characterizes many Chinese weddings today.

Incorporating these traditions into a Chinese wedding not only preserves cultural heritage but also brings families closer, creating a memorable and meaningful celebration for everyone involved, and adds a special depth to the special day.

Follow the link here to book a discovery call! 

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Embrace the Midsummer Magic in Your Wedding

(Photo cr. @Karin Lundin)

Hello lovely couples! 🌸 As a wedding planner, I’m always on the lookout for ways to add a unique and magical touch to your special day. One of my absolute favorites? Mixing international and Swedish traditions into your wedding and right now we have Midsummer coming up here in Sweden.

A Brief History of Midsummer

Midsummer, or "Midsommar" in Swedish, is one of the most celebrated holidays in Sweden, deeply rooted in both ancient pagan and Christian traditions. Originally a pagan festival marking the summer solstice. Today, it’s a joyful mix of floral crowns, dancing, and delicious food, with Swedes gathering with loved ones to welcome the longest day of the year.

Beyond the festive customs, Midsummer is also shrouded in fascinating superstitions and a touch of magic, adding an enchanting layer to the celebration.

(Photo cr. Internet @Visit Sweden)

Midsummer Superstitions and Magic

Swedish folklore is rich with Midsummer superstitions and magical traditions. It's believed that the night of Midsummer's Eve holds special powers, making it a perfect opportunity to incorporate a bit of enchantment into your wedding. 

Flower Magic - According to tradition, if you pick seven different types of flowers on Midsummer's Eve and place them under your pillow, you will dream of your future partner. This charming superstition can be a delightful addition to your wedding preparations

Healing - Gather herbs and plants during Midsummer night, as they have extra healing power. Collect the plants in silence, otherwise the magic is broken.

Predict the future - Walk counterclockwise around a church three times on an empty stomach and in silence. Keep your eyes and ears open for signs. 

Keep a silent vigil at a crossroads where four roads meet and wait for the future to reveal itself.

Find a north-flowing spring and look for your future partner's reflection on the water's surface.

Now, let’s dive into how you can bring the spirit of Midsummer, with its magical superstitions, into your celebration…

1. Flower Crown & Bouquets

One of the most iconic symbols of Swedish Midsummer is the floral crown. These beautiful, hand-made crowns are not only stunning but also steeped in tradition. Imagine you and your bridal party wearing lush crowns of wildflowers, adding a natural and romantic touch to your ceremony.

How to incorporate:

• Host a floral crown-making workshop during your bridal shower or bachelorette party.

• Provide floral crowns for your bridesmaids, flower girls, and even guests to wear during the ceremony and reception.

• Use similar flowers in your bouquets and centerpieces to create a cohesive, nature-inspired theme.

(Photo cr. @Karin Lundin)

2. A Midsummer Pole

The Midsummer Pole, or "midsommarstång," is central to Swedish celebrations. Decorated with greenery and flowers, it’s traditionally danced around with great joy and energy.

How to incorporate:

• Set up a beautifully decorated Midsummer pole as a centerpiece in your reception area.

• Plan a fun, group dance around the pole after your ceremony to get everyone in the festive spirit.

• Use the pole as a unique backdrop for your wedding photos.
  

(Photo cr. iStock @ArtesiaWells)

3. Scandinavian-Inspired Menu

Food is a big part of Midsummer, featuring fresh, seasonal ingredients. Think pickled herring, new potatoes with dill, smoked salmon, and a variety of cheeses. For dessert, a traditional strawberry cake is a must!

How to incorporate:

• Work with your caterer to design a menu inspired by Swedish Midsummer cuisine.

• Offer a selection of Scandinavian appetizers during your cocktail hour.

• Serve a beautiful strawberry cake alongside your wedding cake for a sweet, authentic touch.

(Photo cr. @HonestlyYum)

(Photo cr. Internet @Visit Sweden)

4. Midsummer Game & Activities

Midsummer is all about fun and games. Traditional activities include sack races, tug-of-war, and singing folk songs.

How to incorporate:

• Set up a few traditional games for your guests to enjoy during the reception or cocktail hour.

• Create a playlist of Swedish folk songs and mix them in with your wedding music.

• Consider hiring a folk band or dancers to entertain your guests and teach them a few traditional steps.
  

5. Light and Nature-Themed Decor

Embrace the natural beauty of Midsummer with decorations that highlight light and nature. Think fairy lights, lanterns, and lots of greenery.

How to incorporate:

• Use fairy lights and lanterns to create a warm, inviting atmosphere as the sun sets.

• Incorporate natural elements like wood, stone, and greenery into your decor.

• Choose a venue with plenty of outdoor space to fully capture the essence of a Midsummer celebration.

(Photo cr. @Karin Lundin)

6. Midnight Sun Ceremony

One of the most magical aspects of Midsummer in Sweden is the midnight sun, where daylight stretches late into the night.

How to incorporate:

• Plan a late evening ceremony or celebration to take advantage of the extended daylight.

• Host an outdoor reception that transitions seamlessly from day to night.

• Use soft, ambient lighting to enhance the romantic atmosphere as night falls.

 (Photo cr. @Karin Lundin)

Things to Consider: Pro Wedding Planning Tips

When planning a Midsummer-themed wedding, especially in Sweden, it’s essential to keep in mind that many vendors and service providers might be unavailable as they celebrate the holiday themselves. Here are some tips to navigate this:

• Book Early: Secure your vendors well in advance to ensure availability, especially if you want to have the wedding during Midsummer week.

• Communicate Clearly: Make sure your vendors are aware of your Midsummer theme and the specific date to avoid any surprises.

• Flexible Planning: Have backup plans in place, especially for outdoor events, considering the unpredictable nature of summer weather.

Bringing it All Together

By incorporating these Swedish Midsummer traditions into your wedding, you can create a celebration that is not only unique and memorable but also filled with joy, love, and a touch of Scandinavian magic. Whether you’re looking to add just a hint of Midsummer flair or fully embrace the theme, these ideas will help you and your guests experience the beauty and charm of this beloved Swedish holiday.

As your wedding planner, I’m here to help you weave these traditions into your big day seamlessly. Together, we can create a wedding that’s as enchanting as a Swedish Midsummer night. 🌿✨

Follow the link here to book a discovery call! 

Not ready to book a meeting? Keep in touch by signing up for our newsletter here where we share the latest news and tips to plan an amazing day!

Fun Social Media Ideas for Your Wedding

Using social media for your wedding is a cool way to make things extra fun and keep everyone feeling involved. From getting started with your plans to celebrating the big day, here’s how you can use apps like Instagram, Facebook and Tiktok to add a special touch to your wedding.

Before the Big Day

Make a Special Hashtag

Come up with a fun hashtag for your wedding. This way, it’s easy to find all the pictures and messages about your day. Put your hashtag on your invitations and wedding website.

Share Your Wedding Prep

Post updates about getting ready for your wedding on Instagram Stories or Facebook. It’s a fun peek into your plans, like picking out the place or tasting cake flavors.

Set Up a Private Group

Create a private group on Facebook for your wedding. It’s a great spot to share all the details and let guests chat with each other before the wedding.

On Your Wedding Day

Photo Fun

Challenge your guests to post their best photos from the day. You could ask for the funniest dance photo or a sweet picture with the couple. You can even give out small prizes.

Share Photos Instantly

Use an app where everyone can upload their pictures from the wedding. This lets you see the wedding from everyone’s point of view.

Custom Filters

Make special Snapchat filters for your wedding venue. It’s a fun extra for everyone’s photos.

Include your wedding vendors 

Send out an group email to all your wedding vendors and ask them to share behind the scenes work from your day. Share your social media handles and encourage them to tag each other when they post.

Important note! Give them clear instructions on what you want. When we plan the weddings we always tell the vendors to wait until the next day or after a event has happened before sharing.

Consider Hiring a Pro to Manage Your Wedding Social Media

Stress-Free Sharing

First off, you and your partner's phone should not be used during the wedding day if you ask me. Instead of worrying about posting updates or capturing live moments, you should be present on your wedding day. A social media manager ensures all those special moments are captured and shared in real time, so no one misses out.

Cohesive Storytelling

A pro knows how to tell a story — your love story — in a cohesive and engaging way across platforms. They can manage your wedding hashtag, curate content, and create a narrative that reflects the essence of your celebration. This storytelling skill turns your social media feeds into a beautiful, digital scrapbook of your wedding journey.

Want to do something unique, like a

countdown to your wedding or a behind-the-scenes look at your planning process? A social media pro can come up with creative ideas that you might not have considered, adding an extra layer of fun and personality to your online presence.

Final tips!

Be Clear: Tell your guests about your social media ideas. You can include instructions in your invitations or on your wedding website.

Make It Easy: Encourage your guests to join in by putting up friendly signs at the wedding venue.

Think of Privacy: Make sure your guests are okay with being on live streams or in shared photos.

Using social media adds a fun, shared experience to your wedding. It starts with the planning and keeps going through to the last dance. With these tips, everyone can join in on the fun and help celebrate your special day!